


Love, Hate, Fucking Heartbreak

by The_Pretty_Restless



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Cussing, Drabble, F/M, Fate is a bitch, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Paul is an asshole, Regret, Resentment, We need more Paul fanfics, all the feels, angry, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-14 12:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17508908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Pretty_Restless/pseuds/The_Pretty_Restless
Summary: When you found out about the wolves and having a soulmate, it seemed that for once in your life things were finally looking up. But not everyone is grateful for the imprint, and eventually all the resentment and anger comes out leaving you devastated and wishing that you never even met the asshole Known as Paul Lahote.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've written but I'm trying to pick back up. Please leave constructive criticism or praise! Thank you XOXOXOXOXOXO

 

 

        You sigh as you retrieve yet another beer for Paul, and Emily glances at you from her place at the sink.

     "Has anything got better since..." She trails off into a hushed tone and her eyes motioned to Paul sulking at the dinner table. No doubt they all could hear you, hushed tone or not, so for now it's easier to avoid conflict and lie.

     "Yeah. Somewhat." You struggle with the bottle opener, becoming anxious as Emily's stare burns into your back. You wish you could just break down and tell her everything, about the endless tears and harsh attitudes. Your hands start to shake as you will yourself not to cry but a soft hand on your shoulder nearly breaks you. 

     "I got this honey."

     Emily finally opens the beer and you hurry to get it to your infuriating boyfriend. Paul glares at you and snatches the bottle when you get closer.

     "Took you fucking long enough." You bite your tongue, not having enough energy to snap back. You can see the pack glance at each other, some nervous and some annoyed. Kim smiles at you from her place on the couch and waves you over.

     "Hey (Y/n), would you mind braiding my hair. I love when you do that." You smile gratefully at Kim for giving you a task to distract your self from the frustrated tears welling up in your eyes. 

     Playing with Kim's hair is just as soothing as someone doing it to you and you finally release your tense muscles. Kim babbles on about different classes she's thinking about taking at college, but you can't help but to turn your attention to the boys at the sound of Embry's voice,

     "All you assholes are really lucky to have imprinted," he gestures to Paul Same and Jared. "Aside from this poor bastard," he smirks at Quil who returns his comment with a middle finger.

     "I don't know, I mean, it's odd to think that our soulmates are out there and we have to just change our lives for them. Like what if they're married or have kids, what the hell do we do then?" Jake quipped.

"Well, I know I can't wait to meet my imprint," Seth grins down at his plate.

     Paul scoffs and sets his beer down, nearly knocking it over in the process.

     "Imprinting is nothing to look forward to. It's a sudden shitload of feelings for a stranger that you wouldn't even fucking notice before you went all teen-wolf type of shit. As if life wasn't already fucking hard enough." 

     He drunkenly grimaces and downs the rest of his beer. Everyone goes still and turns to where you're braiding Kim's hair on the couch. You don't dare to cry, but that doesn't mean you're going to take the shit he's saying either. Drunk or not. You gently push Kim forward to stand and move around to behind Seth, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder. The boys glare at Paul, but you meet each of their eyes silently assuring them that you could hold your own. Paul glares back at them, daring them to say something. Seth shifts to look up at you, grabbing your hand. 

     "I'm so sorry (y/n) for bringing it up."

     You give Seth a soft smile and run your hand through his newly cut hair. You set your jaw and pull on your best poker face when you lift your eyes once again to your asshole soulmate.

     "Don't be sorry Seth, he's right. How silly to think a girl of my low status could ever deserve someone as righteous as the fucking king sitting right there," Emily grimaces at your cuss word and you smile apologetically at her for a second.

     "I am so sorry that you didn't get a choice on who you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life, Paul." You muster as much venom as you can into that simple statement.

     Paul leans back in his chair and decides to interrupt you, clearly losing control of his anger.

     "What? So now I can't even speak my fucking mind. See, Seth, this is what I'm talking about. Once you imprint its like you lose your fucking balls right then and there. You go from a proud wolf to a fucking lap dog on a shitty leash!"

     "Paul, shut the fuck up." Leah apparently reaches her limit and gestures for you to continue.

     "A lap dog, must you always be so dramatic? Oh, shame on me! Who would ever want a relationship that they literally knew was fate? One that was truly meant to be. But no, the spirits have cursed you with a girl who already loves you endlessly. I fucking worshiped the ground you strut on Paul, I've been there for you, being the Imprint I thought I was meant to be. And it's not a fucking leash Paul, it's respect for the person you're in a relationship with," you take a breather and blink away the tears in your eyes. 

     "You sure don't mind the imprint when you're profiting from it. You're selfish and a bully and I wish I could leave your ass stranded somewhere or run you over with my car, but even the thought of hurting you is killing ME right now. I don't know why I'm not enough for you, but from this point on I'm done apologizing for it. When you regret this later, I hope the guilt eats you up and spits you out because I've been walking on egg-shells up to now trying to be the perfect girl for you. At least now I know for sure that you will never love and value me as much as I do you. I'm finished being the only one fighting for our relationship. I know it would kill you to stay away from me physically, but emotionally and mentally, we've never been so far apart."

     You're proud to have finished speaking without a single tear shed, but you hold your breath waiting for Paul's reaction. Quil breaks the suffocating silence by standing from the table applauding, at least before the death looks you all give him has him retreating back into his seat. Paul's eyes go nearly black and you try not to flinch as he suddenly pushes away from the table. All the dishes would have hit the floor from the force if not for the fast acting werewolves sitting around. And when Paul takes a step towards you, Embry Jake and Leah jump up to put themselves between you and him. It infuriates Paul, how dare they step in between him and his MATE! He's ready to tear them to pieces, shaking violently when Sam cuts in.

     "ENOUGH. Paul go get your ass outside, when I come out there you're going to learn some respect."

     Even in his most primal state, Paul knows better than to disobey an Alpha's order. You watch as he stomps through the door to outside. You listen to him roar as he changes but all you feel right now is numb. Sam and Emily offer you their spare room, as does Kim, but you gently reject their offers. You do the same as each of the boys offer to drive you home, but no you tell them you simply would like to be alone to think. You go through the motions of everyone giving you hugs, each time it gets harder to hold back your tears. Emily's  motherly kiss on your head and Sam's bear hug is the hardest to resist, but soon you're in the confines of your car and driving away from the quaint little home. 

     You're only 3 minutes down the road when adrenaline stops coursing through your veins. You pull to the side of the road as the tears blur your vision and the sobs rip from your throat. You've never been so angry and hurt, but most of all you felt scared. Scared you were stuck in this shitty relationship for the rest of your life, with somebody who didn't even want you- aside from forced emotions from a spiritual force. You scream and hit your wheel, you scream at Paul, at yourself you scream and sob till your voice is course and your throat is sore. 

     You don't see the silver wolf watching you from the dark woods around your car. But he hears every word every gut clenching sob, and it's like a knife to his heart. Paul knows he fucked up, of course he didn't mean any of the nasty things he spewed, but that thought doesn't quell the nauseousness in his stomach at making you cry. He wants to phase back  and rip your car door open to pull you into his arms. He wants to kiss those tears away and chase away all the betrayal you're feeling right now, but he has a lesson to learn. His wolf wants nothing more than for Sam to kick his ass right now, but only after he makes sure you're going to be okay to go home.  

     You're reduced to a hiccuping mess when your vision clears, and you reluctantly begin the drive home ready to crawl into your bed and sleep this mess away. As you drive off into the night, you can't help the stray tear that falls as you hear a pained howl that echos down to your very core.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen when your imprint suddenly appears and you see how hard the separation has been on the both of you? Will you allow your relationship to once again be on the right track?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Alot of people have asked for a second part so here it is! Let me know what you think in the comments and have a FANTASTIC Day!!! XOXOXOXO

 

     When you fell into restless sleep as you finally got home that fateful night, you promised yourself that you would  _not_  give in to the call of your imprint. He needs to learn his lesson, and you've been doing well for nearly a week now. You've been avoiding Emily's and Kim's and even the beach. You felt bad at first for seemingly ignoring your friends, but you knew that they understood your stand of silence and they were all proud of you for finally sticking up for yourself. Every night, Emily would call to check up on you and your heart would clench when you could hear his begging in the background.

     "Is that (Y/N)? Let me talk to her! Please, baby please talk to me!" 

     Tears would stream down your face and you would hang up automatically. Then about 5 days in, the pain of the distance from your wolf sets in at full force. You whimper and toss and turn at night, and past your cries you could hear a wolf howl in pain as well. It's killing you to be away from him, but you couldn't bare to go back to how things were. No fucking way. Day 7 is when it seems he's had enough of you distancing yourself.  You're in the shower, numbly going through the motions of your personal hygiene when your curtain is ripped back and you shriek. 

     Your jaw falls open at how  _wrecked_  your boyfriend looks right now. His eyes are red and bloodshot with heavy bugs under his eyes. His normal copper skin a now sickly shade of grey, and he hasn't shaved. You shudder when you look into his eyes, you've never seen Paul look so  _feral_. He hands you your towel before stepping away so you could get out. The tension is suffocating, and you find yourself trembling as you brush past him into your bedroom. 

     He stands in the doorway, brooding. You don't pay him any mind as you dig through drawers to find a new set of clothes, suddenly feeling vulnerable while only being clad in a towel. His gaze nearly scorches you and he finally sighs before plopping down on the edge of your bed.

     "Just tell me what I can do to make this better."

     You don't answer for a moment, collecting your thoughts.

     "Listen Paul I-. I just need time." 

     You hear the bed creek and suddenly two tanned arms wrap around your waist. You  flinch and hurry to put some distance between you and the temperamental wolf of yours. You don't need to look at Paul to know the very hurt expression that most certainly covers his face as of now.

     "And space." 

     You turn to walk back into the bathroom, yearning for privacy to dress when his hoarse voice shatters the tense silence.

     "No." 

     You stop and turn to look at him, a little pissed and a lot confused. Paul takes merely two steps into your personal space, chest to- well your chest only reaches his upper torso. His eyes are only burning black, his whole body tensed. You ache to reach out and gently smooth the creases from his face, but your pride and wounded-self holds you back.

     "What the hell do you mean  _no?_ " 

      "I mean," he grabs you around your waist to pull you into his embrace to bury his face into your hair, " _No_." 

     And then he crashes his lips into yours for a bruising kiss. You struggle in his hold, trying not to succumb to the siren call of the annoying ass imprint bond. Paul breaks the kiss, but only holds you tighter so you cannot get away from him. It takes you a moment to register the shaking and the deep breaths. You only struggle harder and finally he relents, you taking an immediate step back.

     "I swear to fucking god, Paul, if you shift in my-  _oh my god are you crying?_ " 

     Paul just stares back at you with tears running down his face before he collapses to the ground in  gut-wrenching sobs. You open and close your mouth a few times before moving closer your despairing soulmate, and he immediately grabs your hips and buries his face into your stomach.

     "Please,  _ **please**_ , don't push me away anymore. I'll do anything baby, I really will. Just not that. Please don't make me be alone, I can't even breath without you. It hurts so bad," his tearful mumbles and little hiccups break your resistance and you find yourself stroking through his hair while gently soothing him.

     "Shh, shh. You're not alone Paul, you still have the pack," he lifts his face from your now tear-sodden towel and the look of utter hopelessness steals both your words and your breath away.

     "It's not the same. Please (Y/N), you can't say you haven't felt it too. I just miss you so bad. I miss you sleeping next to me, and the way you smile and laugh at my dumb jokes. Please, I promise I'll be good." 

     Damn, imprint.

     "Alright, Paul, I won't push you away anymore," He jumps up to pull you into his arms but you hold up a hand to signal that you weren't through talking yet. 

     Paul's tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, nervously, and you have to look away to clear your train of thought.

     "We are going to set a few boundaries though." Paul nods enthusiastically and pulls you to sit next to him on the bed. 

     "Number one, no more alcohol. You have no filter sober, so lets not test your motormouth anymore. Number two, no more degrading comments or _orders_. Last time I checked, I am not your bitch, so don't treat me like one. I'm not fetching you beers or being your punching bag for when you can't handle shit. Number three," You nervously glance up at his sincere eyes for this next one, "no sex. For a while." You can see his reaction, his form turning rigid. This one would definitely be a challenge, but hey it wasn't just going to be hard for him. Since Paul is no good at expressing his feelings, he often uses sex to communicate his inner emotions. So with no sex, he's taken out of his comfort zones and forced to man up and talk shit out.

     "I'm not just saying that to be a jerk, Paul. Believe me, it's hard for me as well. But even though my body  _physically_  reacts to you and the bond, I'm just not ready mentally to be intimate with you yet. You really hut me, anddistancing myself from the throes of passion is the only chance at salvaging this relationship." You finally look at him, gauging his reaction to whether or not to move any fragile items from his arms' reach. He stays tense for a moment, eyes burning a hole into your worn down rug but finally he turns to you with a guarded expression. 

     "Alright. But with one condition," you raise your eye-brow andstraighten your posture.  

     "I get to sleep in your bed with you at night. Don't even look at me like that, I damn well know that you haven't slept well in days and neither have I. So before both of us lose our minds,  just concede to that at least." 

     You can't help the tick of your jaw as you catch the  _slight_  order, but you know he's right and his cocky ass already knows it too. 

     "Glad to see the confident side of you again  _love_ ," you roll your eyes, "  _fine,_ but no funny business Lahote. I mean it." Before he could say anything else, you pull your clothes to your chest and walk into your bathroom. Paul shakes his head with a chuckle and a small smile, hopeful that he and you were on the right track again.

     "Wouldn't dream of it baby!" He calls as he finally relaxes into your blankets, the smell of you instantly chasing away the dark loneliness that he's been plagued with ever since the night he fucked up. And even though you're trying to restrain yourself from jumping back into the madness that is Paul Lahote, you allow your self a similar hopeful smile in the bathroom mirror.

      _The right track indeed..._


End file.
